DEAR YOU: Your Childhood Documented - A Journal for Parents

Last summer it struck me that I needed to start a journal for my kids. I have tons of photos which help to bring me back to moments but I also wanted words to go along with that visual record of life. I went searching for a really simple journal, one for each of my kids. What I settled on was a day planner that I thought I could use to write a line or two about them each day. Those first two weeks were documented in great detail but after that, it was sparse and then, I just stopped. Life gets busy right? For me the pressure of daily journaling just doesn’t work. I felt guilty about missing a day or two and then just ignored the task completely to avoid the guilt. Or I struggled to write something, anything, just to say I did which meant those real moments got lost amongst words I wrote just because. 

I realized that I didn't want to document every single moment of life with my children because that has a way of pulling me away from being fully present with them now. I wanted to pick and choose the things that speak to me the most. 

I wanted a journal that gave me the freedom to pick it up when something happened that I needed to write down instead of feeling disappointed in myself for forgetting to write down the date of a given milestone. I wanted a journal based on moments. 

I wanted a quick way to jot down a line or two, or even a word that my children said that made me laugh. I didn’t want to feel bad about an empty page where I couldn’t remember what happened that particular day or what her favourite song was when she was 2 years old.

I wanted a space to write as much for me as for them to revisit moments again like our memories tend to be – maybe a bit disjointed but full of meaning and emotion. I didn’t want a big bulky book that felt childish in shades of bright pink or blue. I wanted a book that was easy to carry around and that would be timeless. One I could leave on my night table or put in my purse so that I could write whenever inspiration would strike.

The outcome of this process is 'Dear You: Your Childhood Documented', a journal for parents with 5 sections to separate your thoughts but still flexible enough to make it your own. Something you can fill up with everything from little details from specific moments to your own thoughts on parenthood, providing a record of childhood for you and your children. 

To find out more about the journal and to purchase your copy, visit:

https://www.amazon.ca/Dear-You-Your-Childhood-Documented/dp/1388916231

Welcome Baby J

With baby J's early arrival, this family grew from 3 to 4. When I visited, big brother seems to be taking to his role quite nicely and I'm sure as they grow up together, they will be best buds.

What to expect from your family photo session with me

How does a family documentary photo session work?

For those who have already had a photo session with me, you will know the answer to this but for those who haven’t, I thought I’d take a bit of time to explain the process. 

When I am first contacted by a client, I follow up with a brief description of how I work and I ask questions to get more details on what my client is looking for. I want to be sure that my photography style is a good match for what they want. Sometimes this means answering more questions or a phone call to go more in depth. Once we have agreed on a date, I develop a list of questions that are tailored to that client. I want to get to know my client before I meet them so that I can really understand what is important to them and what they want to remember about this time in their lives. Maybe it’s an object like a favourite t-shirt, or maybe it’s an interaction like the way Dad turns his toddler upside down or sometimes it’s a general feeling of the chaos and movement of everyday life. The answers to these questions help to guide the session and inspire the activities for the session itself. For example, if I read about how special breakfast time is for a family, my first thought is to ensure we set a time that will allow us to capture this. I read my clients’ responses to questions several times ahead of the session and keep the details in mind while I shoot. The idea is to create photos that make you feel something and the only way to do this is to go deeper and to connect - to capture real life moments that are authentic.

You won’t find a “what to wear” section on my website. It’s all about being comfortable and dressed according to the activity you will be doing. You don’t need to do a major clean before I arrive since those real life elements are what help the story and make it your own. No posing required, just enjoy time with your family. If someone isn’t interested in doing a certain activity that day, that's ok too, we move on and do something else. 

I give very little direction and instead let everyone fall into the routine of being themselves. I take a lot of photos. I shoot details, objects, close ups of tiny toes and wider angles to get the whole room or family in the picture. All of these pieces come together to tell the story. 

Not sure what activities to do for your family session? I'm working on a list to help inspire you. Stay tuned!

Documentary photo sessions aren’t just for families with young children – they can include anything from a simple wedding, maternity sessions (documenting life before baby arrives, preparing the nursery etc.), documenting the story of your family's older generations or how about the creative process behind a business? More on those specific sessions another time!  

I’m happy to answer any questions so don’t hesitate to hit reply and send me a message.

Savouring those Everyday Moments

It's no secret that more time with those we love is always what we will want more of. In a fast paced world where we are stuck in front of screens or long lists of 'to dos", it's easy to get distracted or think we have all the time in the world. It struck me this weekend that my daughter will be starting school next year which means I won't be able to just pull her out of daycare when I want and spend time with her. The reality of being a photographer means that lots of weekends are split between work and family time. As much as I strive to carve that time out, I'm realizing I have to be more conscious about it. Small things each day can make a difference to maintain those connections. I've put together a list for myself of how I can be more present and savour that time with my family. Simple ideas that I am starting today. I'd love to hear from you if you have any tips that you would like to share.

Go Offline

I was one of those late smart phone adopters. Up until a year and a half ago, I didn't have a cell phone or even a tablet of my own. I had my computer and that was it. I never expected to be in the position I am now where I don't know how I got by without them. As much as these devices are convenient and often necessary for business, they suck away your time and your attention. You hear yourself say 'let me just check one more thing' and then realize you've spent an hour doing nothing of real importance. Turn off the devices for one full day - no checking of emails or texts, no surfing the internet, no photos. Just be truly in the moment.

Have a Real Conversation

At the end of some days, all I want to do is turn my brain off or use that time to check a few things off of my to do list. Life gets busy and sometimes, it's sad to say, I realize I haven't even had a real conversation with my spouse or my kids beyond the "how was your day?" question, the answers to which rarely tell me much anyways. There are some great journals out there (even for kids) that have questions in them for each day of the year or think of your own. Ask each other the question and actually listen to the response. You can also simplify this exercise and ask the same question each day: "what was your favourite thing about today?". Not only does it help to focus on the positive but it may start those interesting conversations that go deeper.

Undivided Attention

Multitasking is a myth. You may be able to do two things at once, but doing them both well is often just not possible. Something is always sacrificed. Give 15 minutes of your undivided attention each day to each of your children. Forget the dishes, that stack of laundry or that report you need to write for just 15 minutes. 

Before they became 4

Photographing this family of 3 before the newest addition joins them next month was so touching. Just reading the notes on their fridge was enough to make me tear up. It's those sweet little details and personal touches that tell the real life story of their family. The lucky little boy on the way will be joining a family so full of love and so eager to hold him in their arms. I'm looking forward to meeting the little guy when I return to take newborn photos.

Here's the condensed version of their family session:

https://melanie-mathieu-photography.smartslides.com/before-they-became-4

My "Why": Photos that Matter

I’m lucky. I have some great family photos of my childhood - holidays, family vacations, birthday parties, camping trips, but also the details: the car we were incredibly embarrassed to be seen in, the bowl cut my sister and I shared for years, photos of our childhood home. Those photos are so valuable to me. There are, however, some moments that I wish I had photos of, but that were never taken because life is busy and, at the time, the importance of those moments wasn’t as obvious.

I was a very picky eater as a child and I was very particular about where I sat at the dinner table. My chair was different than all the others around the table. It had a white vinyl seat and the wood trim was originally a bright 70s orange but my parents had painted it white at some point so that it blended better with the dining room set they had bought. I still remember some spots where the orange peeked through. There were only a few things I would eat and I remember my mom making those classic kid friendly meals for me – KD, grilled cheese, tomato soup. I had a favourite green mug for the soup into which I would dip pieces of toast. I had a plate with bunnies on it that I had to use. I would count the bunnies and get lost in the little illustrations. I loved that plate so much. This type of memory makes me feel something about that time in my life. How many photos do I have of this mug, the plate, my mom making me grilled cheese, me by her side, helping her? None.

I wish I did have those photos, for me, but also so that I could have a visual record to show my kids. I wish I could give them an idea of what our day to day life looked like back then.

There are other moments that aren’t so clear for me. I don’t remember much about my first bedroom – I think it was pink. I don’t know what was hanging on the walls. I don’t remember what blanket I slept with or my favourite toy. I shared a room with my sister and we each still have our half of the bunk beds which our kids now use. How many photos do I have of my bedroom as a child? = 0 . How cool would it be to show my daughter that her bed was once mine and how it looked in my room, sitting below her aunt’s bed.

This is why I am so passionate about the documentary approach to photography. These memories are important and they are the photos we forget to take. You may not realize how much an object or expression can trigger memories and emotions. I want to give that gift to my clients – to give them a piece of their life now so that they can reconnect with it anytime. I want the kids to remember their favourite things and what their room looked like. I want them to see the love their parents have for them in the glances and hugs. I want them to know that life was messy, full of emotion, imperfect but beautiful. Honest, raw and meaningful. I want them to see their whole family together doing what they do on an ordinary day in their own home because those little moments are the big moments. 

What moments from your childhood do you wish you had photos of? Or do you have a photo from childhood that you treasure because it tells part of your story? Share it below!

Top 3 Reasons To Book a Documentary/Lifestyle Newborn Session

You may be asking yourself, what is a documentary /lifestyle newborn session? 
A photo session that documents real moments between you and your baby where you spend most of your time – in your home. You go about your routine while a photographer captures those moments in an artistic way to tell YOUR story. The goal is to create perfectly imperfect, honest photos with real emotion. 

Here are 3 reasons to consider this type of session. If you make it through these reasons, you can see for yourself what this type of session is all about in the photos below.

1)      Sessions take place in the comfort of your own home. 

When I think back to my first few weeks at home after having my babies, personally, the last thing I wanted to do was leave the house. I felt like it took me so much time to finish the simplest tasks that trying to plan for a photo session seemed out of the question. For such a little person, they bring lots of changes, emotions and new routines. In-home photo sessions mean that you don’t have to think about what to bring in that diaper bag, packing up everyone in the car, scheduling your appointment around feeding times or hoping that everyone is in a great mood the entire time. You can stay in the comfort of your own home and just do what you do. There is such a raw beauty in that because it is personal and represents your life as it is now. 

2)      You and your family can focus on just being you.

If you have other children, they can easily participate without having to worry that they will get distracted, bored, or throw a tantrum. True emotion is welcome and in fact, that is the whole point of a documentary/lifestyle session. You may be amazed at how children so easily forget that the camera is there, enjoying the attention and proud to show their world to someone new. Also, let’s face it, some Dads aren’t as pumped about a photo session as Moms. As much as they will love and treasure the photos, they are often along for the ride at first. Documentary/lifestyle sessions take the pressure off - no expectations to pose – they can be themselves and just enjoy time with their family.

3)      Capturing the details

Documentary session are all about being authentic and honest. Having a baby is a time filled with joy but it is also challenging, exhausting, [insert every other emotion here]. Why not be true to this fact and capture the fuller range of what it means to be a mom of a newborn. Think dishes, laundry, diaper changes but also all of the good stuff like little baby hands and toes, those little pouts and how they feel cradled in your arms. Remember that nursery that you spent so much time planning? This is the perfect backdrop for your baby’s first photo shoot – a space filled with personal items picked just for them. And, speaking from experience, once they get older they will "decorate" themselves and so it will never look quite the same. So, document it now!

Kids love hearing about their story and what better way to tell it than through photos that capture all of these details of real family life.  As many moms will attest to, lack of sleep and hormones play tricks on your memory. Having photos will fill in those gaps for you.

To find out more about a newborn in-home photo session, please contact me!  

www.mathieu-photo.com